I've been in EMS for quite a while, having dealt with numerous accidents, deaths, injuries, and more. We as first responders frequently encounter events that are statistically rare or once-in-a-lifetime occurrences for most people.
Over time, I've developed a sort of "obsession." Whenever I or a loved one travels by car, even for short distances, I feel compelled to send or receive a text confirming our safe arrival. My friends and family have always accommodated this request, which initially seemed caring but has inadvertently reinforced my skewed perspective caused by my EMS career. While we witness 1:1000 situations and a higher number of car accidents than the average person, I've come to realize that my perspective lacks the complete statistical picture.
Recently, I took a statistics class that partly illuminated this issue. Additionally, a difficult period with a loved one led me to discuss my coursework, current life events, and the undue pressure I've placed on myself and others with my counselor. This made me understand the irrational nature of my fears and the undue burden I've placed on my loved ones.
I used to expect accommodation for my irrational fears due to my job's impact on me. However, I've now come to realize that I need to manage these fears differently, recognizing their irrationality due to my limited perspective on statistics. It's time to ease the pressure on myself and others, letting go of the need to constantly reassure my loved ones after short trips.
This realization marks a positive turning point, equipping me with tools to reshape my thinking. Although I'm concerned that future rare incidents or car accidents might trigger my old fears, I have faith that with the right tools and the support of my counselor, I'll overcome these triggers. While triggers might momentarily set me back, I'm confident in my ability to recover and persist.
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